Megyn Kelly is Hot (she really is) and I Am Too (and when I call myself hot, I mean angry, not like Megyn Kelly’s hot)

***LANGUAGE WARNING** *Do not read any further if cursing offends you. Also, I don’t believe all that high and mighty shit about how one should be able to express oneself without cussing….blah, blah, blah. I happen to believe this cute little study. And… I’ve already offended several people. Yet, I press forward!

Do you know what’s really fun? When I get pissed and write an angry blog post. You know what happens then? I hear (through the grapevine, never to my face) about how many people take personal offense to my words for years later. YEARS. No joke. Here’s what I think about that…because you know I’m going to tell you. If you take offense…listen to me closely here… that actually is YOUR problem. Not mine. If you take offense, then maybe just don’t read what I write any longer. See, I take offense at literally every word conservative idiot fuck-face Matt Walsh writes. So, I either don’t read what he has to write, or I read it knowing I’m going to get pissed. Here’s the other option. Ready for this? Read what I write. Allow yourself to feel the anger. Figure out why it angers you. I’ve followed my own advice here and I have found that even conservative fuck-face Matt Walsh occasionally writes a sentence or two that I actually agree with. Crazy, really. The world tips on its axis. Seriously.

And now, it begins…

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So, you probably all felt it coming. You probably all thought, “Wow, Toni has been curiously quiet on this subject. Why?” Or maybe you thought nothing of it at all. Doesn’t bother me either way. Though, those of you who thought of me, thank you!! You’re so sweet. I do enjoy being thought of. Unless they were negative thoughts. I don’t really enjoy those. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m 40 years old and very comfortable in my own skin. I actually don’t give a shit if people think negatively of me. And if you’re wondering, “Wait, where does Toni stand on this “Target bathroom” issue, then you probably don’t know me and you’ve not read my blog before. I’ll clear it up. I love Target!! I spend way too much money there and I will continue to do so. If there are folks out there who would like to boycott, I say with sooooo much conviction, “DO IT!!” More shopping for me! More clothes on the clearance racks! YES!! So, particularly if you’re about my size, definitely boycott Target. That is a fabulous plan. Do it, do it, do it!!

In all seriousness, do you think you’re going to pull Target under? No. You’re not. There aren’t enough “people” of the same opinion as you. I put “people” in quotes because I’m trying really, really hard to avoid calling people bigots. I get that no one wants to be called a bigot. Even when they are. I don’t want to be called a bigot either, but I do think that I struggle with it myself. Wikipedia says that a bigot is “a person whose habitual state of mind includes an obstinate, irrational, or unfair intolerance of ideas, opinions, ethnicities, or beliefs that differ from their own, and intolerance of the people who hold them.” I think this whole ragey blog post is probably a sign that I am a bigot when it comes to conservative politics. Those beliefs very often differ from my own and sometimes I am absolutely intolerant of the people who hold those beliefs. And that’s the kicker, you guys. I don’t want to be a bigot. I don’t want to be angry. I’m a peace loving, idealistic, all things gushy and lovely kind of person. I want everyone to get along. I want everyone to be happy. I consider myself a nice person. A considerate person. And yet I can get all kinds of ragey when it comes to politics and religion. A conundrum, I tell you. Also, as a side note, if you’re one of those Target boycotters, please read up so you can get a full list of the companies you need to boycott.

So, let’s get into it.

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Uh-huh. This seems self explanatory, but let me tell you what it means to me. I try very hard to respect other people’s opinions. To see where they’re coming from. To admit that often I won’t be able to see where they’re coming from, but I can still respect them as a person. I practice this often in my everyday life. Here’s where it goes astray…when someone disrespects someone else’s existence.

How does that work?

Well, to me, it is on full display when someone purports/supports the belief that homosexuality is simply an aberration, a sinful lifestyle, a “struggle.” Nope. Homosexuality is a perfectly healthy and normal sexual orientation, just as healthy and normal as heterosexuality. You don’t get to claim that you’re morally superior because you are heterosexual. Homosexuality exists. Many different sexual orientations exist. They exist. You can’t claim that they don’t.

Next up: Gender!! Okay, let’s get one thing out of the way right from the start, okay. There’s this thing and it’s called science. Science is amazing and wonderful and new discoveries are being made on a daily basis. Literally. There’s some great new research out there regarding gender identity, gender expression, transgender people, and how it all relates to the brain. The brain is a fascinating place, people. Fascinating. I don’t know how fascinating my brain is lately, though, as it mostly just feels like it’s going to explode when I see some of the shit people are posting these days…reducing people to penises and vaginas.

Silliness. I am not a vagina. Are you? No? A penis? Okay then.

So, just as you do not get to claim that homosexuality is not a thing, nor do you get to claim that everyone falls neatly into two gender packages tied up with either a pink or a blue bow. Vagina and penis. Obvs…pink and blue, vagina and penis. So perfect and packaged neatly.

Just because you might be neatly tied up in a blue ribboned package adorned nicely with a penis does not mean that the blue ribboned package next to you doesn’t actually have a vagina. What?? Is this exceptionally strange metaphor? Uh, comparison? Hmmmm, I hope you’re not reading this, Mr. Fair. Anyway, we’ll go with comparison. Is this exceptionally strange comparison between actual human people and ribboned (yeah, don’t think that’s actually a word, either. Again, look away, Mr. Fair) packages falling flat? It could be. Anyway, I hope I’m making some semblance of sense. Point being that YOU DO NOT GET TO DENY THE EXISTENCE OF TRANSGENDER PEOPLE.

Okay, so back to the issue at hand. Bathrooms. Public bathrooms. I have a personal story to tell. My child who previously identified as a lesbian has, by all appearances, been very male looking in the teenage years. Said child has been unable to use gendered public restrooms (even at school) for years now. After several well meaning people tried to point this fantastic human being to the “correct” bathroom, my child gave up. My child didn’t want to make people uncomfortable. My child was faced with this choice:

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So, many times I picked Jaten up from school after 6-7 hours and we had to find the nearest restroom or risk a bladder bursting. And before any of you ask, I tried to work out a better arrangement with the school and they were not helpful in the least. Now, I tell you this personal story to help you, dear reader, to put a personal face on an aspect of this argument. Not to engender sympathy. Not to make it sound like I believe that the whole world needs to cater to my child. I don’t. Now, as some of you know, Jaten has come out as transgender. By the way, if anyone is interested in reading about transgender youth, this is a great place to start. Jaten followed a very typical path regarding coming out as first bisexual, then gay, then transgender.

Okay, so, back to my point about not believing that the whole world needs to cater to my child. I don’t. That’s not how life works. In fact, life is often not fair. Jaten’s got a pretty good head on his shoulders and has often been more concerned about making other people uncomfortable in public bathrooms than his own discomfort. He’s a great person. He’s also an extreme minority. Less than one percent of the population identifies as transgender. So, the argument is often why are we bothering with laws to protect such a small portion of the people in our country? Why indeed? Let’s see. Laws are often made to protect our citizens. Whether the number of citizens is large or small shouldn’t matter. Would it matter to you if it was you or your family member the law was protecting?

So, shoving aside those people who reduce humans to penis or vagina who can actually be classified easily as bigots (and I’m going to include anyone in there who has said or thought anything along the lines of “God don’t make no mistakes,” “There is no such thing as transgender, just confused,” “All transgender people are just perverted,” and any other number of bigoted, hateful, idiotic  things) there is the argument that it’s not the transgender people using the bathroom who are dangerous, but the perverts who will take advantage of these laws. That any sexual predator will decide to “claim” to be transgender and waltz right into a women’s bathroom and there’s not a thing anyone can do about it now. Well, let’s chat about that.

Wait. Many, many people have been chatting about that. Endlessly. Here are just a few snippets of, you know, FACTS rather than scary, scary, scary tactics espoused by, oh dear, here’s that word again, BIGOTS.
I found this lovely piece from Fox News host Chris Wallace, just so no one can accuse me of just using those nasty libtard media outlets. Fox News, people. My eyes burn just seeing the words Fox News (I’m a bigot, see), but that’s where I found this. And in case you don’t want to watch it, Chris Wallace did some fact checking and discovered that,

“We haven’t found any instance of criminals convicted of using transgender protections as cover in the United States, neither have any left wing groups or right wing groups.”

Also, this snippet from Fox News’ Megyn Kelly. You should totally watch this. Seriously. Even if it’s just to admire Megyn Kelly. I don’t agree with much that comes out of her mouth, but I do agree with what she says here and, man, is she nice to look at or what? That’s a beautiful woman right there. I’m heterosexual, by the way, but I do admire female beauty in all its forms and Megyn Kelly has got some. My favorite quote from her piece:

“I want to ask you about bathrooms, ‘cause I’ve been in women’s bathrooms my whole life, and we don’t have the urinal situation. We got, like, the stalls. And we get to go in, we go do our business, and, like…we don’t see each other. So why are you concerned about young girls exposing themselves or seeing someone else exposed in a woman’s bathroom.”

Let me quote Chris Wallace one more time for emphasis:

“We haven’t found any instance of criminals convicted of using transgender protections as cover in the United States, neither have any left wing groups or right wing groups.”

Your fears are unfounded. Let’s move on. We have so much more important things to talk about. Like Megyn Kelly. Let’s talk about her. Gorgeous. I could look at her all day. I couldn’t listen to her all day, though.

Damn.

 

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16 Comments

  1. Jacelle
    Apr 30, 2016

    Spot on!!!! You should write a book or three and make some cold hard cash girl:) when I was much younger (I’m getting too old for that late night bar scene. Lol )and had too many cocktails at the bar, I know I wasn’t the only one who would use the men’s room when the ladies was occupied for too long. A bathroom is simply a place to relieve your body waste, and if we can share them at home, let’s share them everywhere. Keep it going Toni!

    • Toni
      Apr 30, 2016

      Ooooh, cold hard cash would so great! I really need to get on that book writing! 😉
      Yes, ma’am, a place to relieve yourself. Share and get over it. Thanks for the love, Jacelle!

  2. Dona
    Apr 30, 2016

    I LOVE You Toni Barney!

    • Toni
      Apr 30, 2016

      I LOVE YOU Aunt Dona!!

  3. Martha
    Apr 30, 2016

    Always love reading your blog!

    • Toni
      Apr 30, 2016

      Thanks for reading, Martha. And for your sweet comment. :-)

  4. Kristi
    Apr 30, 2016

    I’ve been trying to figure out why this has become such an issue for people on both sides of the debate. My feelings are if a transgender looks like a woman and identifies as a woman, then use the women’s restroom. If a transgender looks like a man and identifies as a man, use the men’s restroom. What’s the big deal?!? How the heck am I going to know that she has a penis when she is using the women’s restroom? I’m sure transgenders have been using the restroom of choice for quite a while with no one being none the wiser (is that proper grammar? 😉 ). I think the problem for those who have boycotted Target (which I have not , so we will fight over those clearanced items 😉 ) is that Target has made it a “policy.” That policy allows ANY man to use the women’s restroom and ANY woman to use the men’s restroom. So why have gender-specific restrooms with that policy? If I was in a women’s restroom and a man (not transgender) walked in, I would be uncomfortable. Yes, I have used men’s restrooms plenty of times when the women’s has been occupied, but it was a single men’s restroom. Both sides think they are right in how they feel. But, seriously, we need to figure out a way to work with each other and find a solution instead of always being angry with one another just because we don’t see eye to eye on an issue. I love you! :)

    • Toni
      Apr 30, 2016

      Okay, friend…starting from the beginning of your comment. It’s actually not correct and borderline offensive to refer to people as “a transgender” or “transgenders.” That’s reducing a person to that one aspect of them and only that. Transgender people are people. Not transgenders. Next, you say that if a transgender woman looks like a woman, then she should use the women’s bathroom and same with men. So, where exactly is the line? When does a transgender woman look enough like a woman to use the women’s restroom? And who will be in charge of determining that? Jaten’s issue, in particular, is that some people see him and think he’s a female and some think he’s a male. That’s sort of the issue. My point, and I thought I had made my point until it all came crashing down with your comment, is that there isn’t a problem with these policies and protections. No problem. No cases of anyone using a policy or law like the one Target has instituted as an excuse to go into a women’s bathroom and victimize women in some way. No cases. And if you investigate, you’ll find plenty of places with these protections in place. And they’ve been in place for years. No problems. So, let’s protect the people who are actually being victimized and move on with our lives. And I love you too. ?

      • Kristi
        Apr 30, 2016

        So had I said a transgender person, that would not have been offensive? I am not as well versed as you are. You know I would never intentionally be offensive. In my experience with transgender people (I hope that’s the correct way to say it), they have looked like the gender they identify as. So all I was saying is that I would not know – and that is based on my experience. With the Target “situation” all over the news and everyone fighting over it, I think some may take advantage of the policy. I thought I was being supportive, but apparently that was lost in translation due to my lack of knowledge of the correct way to say things.

        • Toni
          Apr 30, 2016

          Oh no, I really didn’t mean to sound harsh with the correct terminology thing. My kids have had to correct me several times with issues like this. Yes, it’s correct to say transgender person. I absolutely knew you wouldn’t intentionally be offensive. That’s why I felt comfortable correcting you just like my kids correct me. Just because some bad people might take advantage of a policy, doesn’t make the policy unworthy. Also, as I said, that situation just hasn’t played out with other policies like this. Although, you’re right that it might be different now because of all the attention. Which is exactly why we should all move on. Thank you for taking the time to express your feelings, my friend. I really do appreciate it. ❤

          • Kristi
            Apr 30, 2016

            :)

  5. manoakoa
    Apr 30, 2016

    The issue is not body parts it’s really naïveté

    Naivete because this really is a new situation

    Of course a grown ass man isn’t just going to stroll into a woman’s restroom previously security snd the cops would have been summoned

    Now however a man CAN and WILL waltz right in and claim transgender all in the cause of self gratification

    Same with the opposite taking place

    I have no issue with transgender whatsoever I was raised in a culture where it was tolerated and accepted what I’m addressing is not them at all its those who will take advantage of the gaping loop hole this has caused and believe me it has and I speak from years in law enforcement dealing with crimes against persons

    I mean no offense about stating there’s naïveté surrounding this issue but unless you Seen and dealt with what I have then you have no idea what has and can go on in public restrooms

    • Toni
      Apr 30, 2016

      Hi! Not sure who you are, but thanks for dropping by. I am absolutely not naive. Of course people have been assaulted in public bathrooms before. No kidding. I happen to know one personally. Particularly as it pertains to women, and please, any ladies reading correct me if your experience is different than mine, but I am anyways aware of my surroundings. Since I was a little girl, I’ve been on alert for danger from predators, in the bathroom and elsewhere. I didn’t let either my son or my daughters go to public bathrooms by themselves until they were quite old. I guess our difference of opinion is in whether policies like these will increase predatory behavior in bathrooms. And that’s what I keep saying. It hasn’t yet. The facts aren’t there. These policies and laws are in place in other businesses and states and what everyone fears just isn’t happening. I guess we’ll have to wait and see if the Target policy spawns a rash of bathroom assaults at Target, won’t we?

  6. Rad
    May 3, 2016

    I have this fear for JoJo when it comes to public bathrooms or ones at school. I don’t want to get that phone call (nor do they want me to get that call) that she was beat up for using the bathroom she associates with. Of course Jo tells me kids are more accepting these days but it’s still a fear for me. I can say, unlike Jaten’s school, Jo’s school is all on board with transgender kids using whichever bathroom/locker room they identify with. Thanks for this blog Toni.

    • Toni
      May 4, 2016

      Thanks so much for your comment, Rad. I am with you on the fear thing. I worry so much for Jaten. Of course, I worry about all my children, but many of our fellow countrymen seem so incredibly hateful when it comes to transgender people that it creates an intense fear for Jaten’s safety. I’m so glad that Jojo’s school is so on board
      That’s awesome. Thanks for being such a great dad. Those of us who love our children truly for who they are can and will (I have to believe) change the world. ❤

  7. David
    May 4, 2016

    I agree with you….in all ways. Megyn Kelly is hot. Wonderful article.

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